You are a cool, calm, collected professional. You are 62.5% doctor. You command respect. You… have your stethoscope caught in your hair. Ok don’t panic. The patient might not have noticed yet. Just ask her more questions.
-So, do you-(tug tug)-have a history of any- (tuggg)- medical- (fuckingcomeontug)- problems?
-Patient (pretending not to notice stethoscope vs hair): uh.. no…
-No history of- (TUG) hypertension or diabe-(MEGATUG)-es
-No, neve- RRRRRIP.
Oh my god. That’s a lot of hair.
We’re both starring in horror at my newly freed stethoscope. It is now part stethoscope part blonde orangutan. Do I say something? I could make a joke. We’d probably both laugh about it. It could be a nice moment. No. You are a cool, calm, collected professional. Professionals do not rip their hair out then make jokes. Professionals rip their hair out then ignore the situation at all costs. Shit, she looks like she’s going to say something.
-Uh are you oka-
–Alright, let’s check your blood pressure!
Places furry stethoscope in ears.
Nice. Smooth. Crushed it.
Mental note: professionals might want to tie hair back